Miss Hi-Yah Returns and Brings Her Madness With Her

Happy Monday! As I sat down last evening to do my list of “how am I going to get everything done” for the week, I noticed that this Saturday is Valentine’s Day. Well, actually I noticed that Friday was the 13th before realizing love day was Saturday, but I have no big plans for 13th, so “we’re gold, Jerry..we’re gold.” (obscure Seinfeld reference) I thought “How lovely! I should do a post about our Cupid’s Tea Party!” I could delight my family and friends with recipes and party ideas! (not to mention, this would make for an easy post and who doesn’t want that on a Monday?)

So off I go to gather recipes, charming snippets of Valentine lore, and photos to share in my post. I skipped through my home with a song of joy in my heart…la la lalala! Suddenly I was overcome with the heebie jeebies. The air was crackling and the happy woodland creatures (unicorns included) were scurrying off to parts unknown. Uh-oh…I recognized this vibe…this always signaled the arrival of a most unwelcome visitor to our home. (no, not the javelinas…something far worse…) I hid behind the sofa to wait. I was hoping I was wrong as I rocked back and forth sucking my thumb trying to calm my nerves. All at once I heard a crash and screams of pain coming from the hallway. Darn it! It seems that our visitor had arrived.

Cautiously, I crept toward the hallway. My son had our visitor in a headlock in a bear hug obviously ready to feed her to the javelinas delighted to see her. “Well hello!” I say in my cheery “please don’t hurt me” voice. “How are you today, Miss Hi-Yah?” (For those of you unfamiliar with Miss Hi-Yah, allow me to introduce her… )

(Please note…this photo is about 3 years old…Miss Hi-Yah has gotten very good at avoiding cameras…not to mention I am afraid to photograph her as she is bigger and stronger now…eek!) Many moons ago, I posted about this wondrous creature…if you are brave enough to read it…go here…{shudder, shudder}

What on earth would make Miss Hi-Yah return on such a cold rainy night? Was it the warm coziness of our humble abode? Was it the scent of vanilla candles wafting gently from room to room? Nothing quite so simple, I’m afraid. No, it seems my son conjured up this witch of doom charming guest with his desire for control. (which seems to be getting “out of control” since he started playing Civilization Revloution on XB360…I mean how many times does he need to conquer the Romans to feel fulfillment?) Apparently, Cat (I mean Miss Hi-Yah) simply wanted to go in her brother’s room to steal stuff spend some quality time with him. I guess Connor wasn’t on board with her plan.

Miss Hi-Yah is putting up quite a struggle. “Tell Miss Hi-Yah she can’t come in my room,” the dictator (that once was my son) demands. Using my heavy sigh, “can this be happening to me” voice, I say, “Sheesh, dude, she’s 6 yrs. old…do you seriously need to put her in a headlock bear hug?” Miss Hi-Yah takes advantage of the dictator’s confusion and breaks free. She then promptly punches him in the stomach and then uses me as a human shield. The dictator lunges and a “round the human shield” pursuit begins. Time for the big guns…”DADDY!!”

The dictator immediately turns, runs for his bunker and slams the door. Miss Hi-Yah is not fazed one bit. She starts beating on the door. The Big Gun is ignoring us. He’s been on this runaway train before and doesn’t want another trip. Miss Hi-Yah turns and senses opportunity knocking. She takes a deep breath and pools of tears fill her evil red orbs shooting out daggers beautiful blue eyes. “Connor’s being mean to me, Mama” she sniffles. She rubs her eyes and reaches for me. I lift her up and hug her. (This girl knows how to work a crowd…) I head to the family room to sit down. I catch a glimpse of her in the mirror and see a smirk. I start my “don’t hit your brother cause he won’t let you steal from him” lecture. She just snuggles up closer to me and says sweetly through the tears, “I’m sorry, Mommy. I just wanted to play with him.” (I can just hear her saying “I would like to thank the Academy…”) I continue with the lecture. Miss Hi-Yah rears her angry head and says, “FINE! I’m leavin’! THAT’S IT!” She storms out of the room. “Hey! Just where do you think you’re going, young lady!?” Crazy Mama has bubbled up out of me now. “I’m running away and I’m taking my madness with me!” What? Her madness? Geez, that’s great…she’s angry and nuts! I hope her kind of madness isn’t contagious! (especially since we’re dealing with colds, the fat virus, other assorted seasonal maladies…) And then…wait for it…SLAM! Whew…that must mean she’s packing her stuff having a self imposed time out.

Fast forward one hour…ah…do ya feel it? Peace and harmony restored. Miss Hi-Yah has returned to parts unknown. Our darling Catherine is back, playing happily in her room. I sit down at the computer and this is what greets me…

Our old gray rubber chicken guy has been “hanged” out back at the storage shed! Is this some kind of ominous warning from Miss Hi-Yah?? (I mean she did bury a monster in our backyard…remember this? (You can read about the Monster Homicide here…)

I slept with the lights on and one eye open all night….just sayin’…

p.s. All characters in this story are based on actual people and the names have not been changed to protect the innocent. That being said…my sweetie pie, Catherine, wanted me to let you all know that she is a really, really good, kind soul. She doesn’t want you to think she’s a meanie. She’s just ornery on occasion:) (I’m still sleeping with the lights on….)

p.s.s. Miss Hi-Yah is completely from the mind of Catherine. I’m thinking it’s her name from some scary past life incarnation as a mean nanny or opera diva.