Not Me Monday: Tuesday Edition

I am NOT living in a time warp….I am NOT posting a NOT ME Monday post on a Tuesday…..I would never be such a lame-o….(I did NOT keep picturing these creepy characters singing “Let’s Do The Time Warp Again” while typing the words above….I do NOT have that song stuck in my head now….oy…)


I am NOT extremely frustrated after spending many hours trying to comment on various blogs only to have this happen….After typing my comment, I am prompted to select a profile. When I click on google account, I get nothing. I click on post comment…still nothing…I went around trying to spread my comment love all over the place and discovered my comments were NOT being received. ARGGGHHH! This isn’t happening on every blog I visit, just the ones that appear to have comments embedded in a post. (Pop-up window comments are still working fine.) I’ve tried to select other profiles, even tried using the dreaded Anonymous option just to let my bloggy buddies know I was there, and it still does not work. I did NOT spend hours trying to deal with this yesterday.

I would NOT be eternally grateful for anyone’s kind assistance on this matter. I am NOT trying to play catch up on my comment lovin’ this week. I am NOT using this as we speak….

I do NOT want you to win an iPod Touch over at Devri’s fabulous blog! NO I DO NOT! You do NOT want to put your name in that contest because you already know I am the winner…She does NOT have the cutest Twitter backgrounds (FREE and Custom) waiting for you on her new website, Tweetest Backgrounds!!!


Do NOT go to this place if you like cheap eats and good pizza…

I am NOT loving Cici’s Pizza Buffet. I would NEVER actually try Mac-n-Cheese pizza and like it. I did NOT eat a gazillion pieces of Buffalo Chicken Pizza either…or Spinach Florentine Pizza or Apple Cobbler Pizza or have tons of Bacon Ranch Tossed Salad or fabulous Hot Wings….

I do NOT need to ramp up my work out efforts after gorging out at Cici’s flippin’ CHEAP (read $4.99 / $3.49 kids 10 and under) All You Can Eat buffet on Saturday night.

I did NOT almost choke on the pizza that I was NOT gobbling up at a high rate of speed when I saw this….a young woman wearing a very revealing top bent over to feed her baby…suddenly, her boob fell right out of her shirt and smacked the baby right upside the head!!! It didn’t even faze her (which makes me think it’s happened to her before)…she just tucked it back in and continued on….

We also did NOT have fun annoying Chilly by blinking at him and telling him we were taking his picture. I did NOT coerce the kids into doing this with me as my desperate plea for a new camera.


I do NOT have combative, bullying seat belts in my truck….The seat belt did NOT try to hold Catherine hostage after we parked the car. She did NOT punch the seat belt and yell at it. I did NOT try to calm her down by telling her that punching and yelling at the seat belt was only ruining her day…not the seat belt’s…..She did NOT lean over and whisper this to me…”But the seat belt started it, Mom”…..


My six year old daughter did NOT sound like a little old lady when she said this yesterday…”Mom, I think I need some apple juice…I’ve got the constipation”….NOPE, all 6 year olds speak this kind of potty talk…


I did NOT chew my nails completely off watching these two movies on Sunday with Chilly…

I did NOT cry to the point of nearly swelling my eyeballs shut at the end of Gran Torino…I did NOT want to bitch-slap the idiot mother in Taken either….I did NOT love both of these movies…


NERDY ALERT!!! Do NOT go visit one of the funniest bloggers in BloglandNerdy Jess...NO! DON’T go over and read her because you might just pee your panties….(unless your in your early twenties and haven’t had the pleasure of giggle incontinence….) I have already adopted her as my own so don’t go trying to steal her from me….You will NOT laugh yourself silly and you will NOT want to adopt her too…..


Do NOT have a great week doing fun summer things like eating watermelon, swimming, catching fireflies and basking in the sun….Do NOT rub it in my face that there are no fireflies in AZ…I am NOT very sad about that…I do NOT missing catching fireflies on a lovely summer’s evening…My mother did NOT feel so sad for me during my firefly pity party last summer that she brought me this back from Ohio…faux fireflies in a jar! We love them!


Join in the Not Me! Monday fun brought to the land of Blog from MckMama over at My Charming Kids!

Not Me Monday: Milk Duds, Medals and Bringing Back My Mojo

Join in the Not Me! Monday fun brought to the land of Blog from MckMama over at My Charming Kids!

I did NOT have a lovely weekend with my family in Scottsdale while enjoying Catherine’s Irish dance competition. I did NOT enjoy my huge turkey salad at Shogun on Friday. Chilly does NOT force us to eat at Shogun everytime we visit Scottsdale. He did NOT talk non-stop about their stupid famous turkey salad from the minute he found out we were going to Scottsdale. I did NOT want to shove the ginormous salad down his throat the minute it was served just to shut him up already about the turkey salad. (I am NOT admitting to the public that I love this turkey salad as much as Chilly does.)

I did NOT find out all sorts of interesting things about Chilly from his best friend who joined us for lunch at Shogun that I can use in the future blackmailing of my husband. There are NOT photos involved in these sordid tales to prove these stories are NOT true.

I am NOT ridiculously proud of this adorable Irish dancer girl…

She did NOT win 4 medals and did NOT move up a level in 3 of her dances in her second competition ever. She is NOT a natural born Irish dancer…NOT this cutie pie!

The kids and I did NOT think we were hallucinating in the Fry’s grocery store parking lot last Thursday afternoon because we did NOT see a HORSE “parked” in a parking space. We do NOT love living in AZ because this is NOT normal behavior for the wild west. I did NOT say out loud that I was bummed that I didn’t have my camera with me because I did NOT want to take a photo of it for my blog. Tween Caveboy did NOT roll his eyes at me when I mentioned my blog.

I did NOT feel like “Big Brother” was watching us everywhere we went on our trip to Scottsdale / Phoenix over the weekend. I did NOT notice the millions of photo radar cameras that are posted every mile or so on practically every street. I did NOT notice the gazillions of highway patrol on I-10 either. I did NOT leave the Valley of the Sun feeling extremely paranoid.

I did NOT go on a Milk Dud binge last week while making gift baskets for a fundraising raffle. I did NOT have to replace three boxes of Milk Duds for the raffle baskets because I did NOT eat the ones purchased for them. I also did NOT eat the package of Red Vines intended for said raffle baskets either. I do NOT eat candy when I feel stress because it’s bad for me.

I was NOT surprised that the salon of doom reimbursed the money for my botched color job. I did NOT want to say “I TOLD YOU SO” to the receptionist when he saw how badly the “stylist” had messed it up. He did NOT look horrified and hurriedly hand me my money so that I would leave quickly. He was NOT worried that other customers might notice the HORRENDOUS job that their salon did on my hair. I have NOT decided to embrace my Kelly Clarkson look temporarily because 3 salon professionals have told me that it would seriously damage my hair further to try to correct it at this stage. These same professionals did NOT look at me with their eyes filled with pity upon seeing the gaps and streaks in my hair. I will NOT be posting photos of this hair nightmare later this week.

I do NOT wish that you all have a joyful week ahead of you filled with lots of laughter and good times! I certainly do NOT want you to have fun this fine month of June!


Not Me Monday: Can I Have Your Autograph, Kelly Clarkson?

Join in the Not Me! Monday fun brought to the land of Blog from MckMama over at My Charming Kids!

I did NOT have my mini makeover this weekend. I did NOT return home from the hair salon looking like her….(seriously…my hair is NOT this streaky or these same colors…no offense, Kelly, this looks fabulous on you….for those of you new to this style of blog meme…this is exactly what my hair looks like right now but with more bleachy streaks…)

Chilly and the kids did NOT call me Kelly Clarkson all weekend. My stylist would NEVER do this to me especially when I told him this (see photo below) is what I wanted….I did NOT show him a photo of the color I wanted….My hair is NOT even more auburn than before with huge streaks of bleach blonde…(not that I didn’t enjoy my previously auburn colored hair, I just wanted to shake things up for summer…)

I did NOT make it extremely clear that I wanted all coppery red tones out of my hair. I did NOT say repeatedly I wanted soft ash blonde for summer. I did NOT say to him NO CHUNKY HIGHLIGHTS when I saw the bleach cream on the color stand. I did NOT repeatedly try to make sure he was very clear on the whole ash blonde idea. He apparently did NOT give a crap about what I (the customer) wanted. I am NOT sporting the exact hairstyle in the Kelly Clarkson photo at this moment. I do NOT look like a skunk with a lopsided stripe when I pull my hair back because my bangs are NOT a huge streak of bleach blonde hair on one side. It is NOT the worst color job I’ve ever had…EVER….

I did NOT contact the salon to correct this hair nightmare ASAP because I do NOT have a mini vacation coming this weekend while NOT attending my daughter’s Irish dance competiton in Scottsdale. I did NOT ride an emotional rollercoaster all weekend because of my hair. I wear big girl panties…I would NEVER act so silly over my hair…just ask my family who I did NOT drive crazy with my whining. I will NOT stop torturing you with my continued whining here…

I am NOT delirious with delight that it is JUNE!!!!! I am NOT hoping that all of this crazy black rain cloud of energy that has been around me for the last two months has gone bye bye! I am NOT focusing on lots of positive vibes today!

Hope you are NOT having a great start to the month of June!


Not Me Monday: And Lame-O Was Her Name-O

Join in the Not Me! Monday fun brought to the land of Blog from MckMama over at My Charming Kids!

I have NOT been staring at the computer for the last half hour trying to figure out what to post today. I am NOT so lame that I cannot come up with a post lately. My mind is NOT a huge space with giant question mark floating in the center of it.

I did NOT spend my entire Sunday doing a major scrub down of my kitchen. I did NOT walk around sporting T-rex arms last night because my biceps were so tight from scrubbing that I couldn’t straighten out my arms. My inner T-rex did NOT start hollering and jumping up and down with her short arms when she saw that a Land of the Lost marathon would be playing on the SciFi channel all day today. My family did NOT make fun of me either. (The question mark in my brain does NOT look like stainless steel because I cleaned so much stinkin’ stainless steel on Sunday that it saturated my brain waves.)

I am NOT missing Ohio this weekend. I would NEVER miss going to King’s Island Amusement Park on Memorial Day weekend. I did NOT love living 20 minutes from there while living in Ohio. I am still NOT laughing at the memory of Chilly freaking out on the White Water Canyon ride on his first visit there. Tween Caveboy and I do NOT love to imitate his girly screams as the first splashes of water came over the sides of the “raft”. (Tween Caveboy, I do NOT remember that you actually said “oh sh*t!” when you saw the first group of rapids. I do NOT forgive you because you were only 7 at the time and it was the only time a naughty word ever popped out of your mouth.)

I did NOT growl at my family everytime they went into my sparkling clean kitchen yesterday. I did NOT act like it was awful that they actually wanted me to cook for them in my “looking like new” kitchen (and I did NOT eye-roll and heavy sigh either.) I am NOT that mean.

I did NOT think Catherine was hilarious when she told Nana that the “dog-in-law” came to see her last weekend. (That would be Snow, my in-laws service dog…) I did NOT think she was very clever for making that up all on her own!

On Saturday morning, I did NOT shriek like a banshee when just seconds after Chilly said, “I think we could probably take your Dad’s truck to Scottsdale for the feis”, a giant black bird commited suicide into the windshield. I did NOT look frantically skyward to see if a re-enactment of Hitchcock’s “The Birds” movie was about to commence. I did NOT say to Chilly, “That would be a BIG NO on taking the truck, dude.” I do NOT believe it was a sign. Heck no, I don’t.

I did NOT think my husband was disgusting when he followed up his breakfast on Saturday with a nice salad while we were enjoying our breakfast outing. I do NOT think breakfast foods and salad are a gross combination.

I did NOT have 2 dreams over the weekend about Tim Roth. I do NOT love his show “Lie to Me” so much that I am now dreaming about him all the time.

I am NOT on a crazy spring cleaning spree now that my kitchen is looking so flippin’ fabulous. I will NOT be doing a major overhaul on the whole house this week either. My kids did NOT run away and join the circus once they found out I was using them as my slave labor this week. They do NOT think I am completely mental for wanting to start our summer vacation this way.

What crazy things are you NOT doing this fine week in May?



Not Me Monday: Luck of the Irish Cop Ditching Edition

Join in the Not Me! Monday fun brought to the land of Blog from MckMama over at My Charming Kids!

I did NOT cry tears of happy happy joy joy upon seeing this on Saturday! I was NOT a very PROUD and DELIGHTED Mommy!

I was NOT tickled to pieces seeing my sweet Catherine standing on the FIRST place podium for dancing her Irish reel! (I did NOT get really stinkin’ mad that my dinosaur camera took a really bad photo of the event. I did NOT want to pitch the camera in the trash for having that stupid delay because it’s sooo dang old. I do NOT want Chilly to buy me the new Canon Rebel that I went to see at Best Buy after the feis because I was NOT sad about my horible photos from our special day.)

I did NOT think Catherine looked super adorable in her curly wig showing off her medals either.

I did NOT get busted by the feis people for trying to take photos during the dancing part of the competition. They did NOT announce very loudly NO PHOTOGRAPHY OF ANY KIND WILL BE TOLERATED the minute my flash popped. I would NEVER try to break the rules to get a photo of my daughter dancing in her first feis. I do NOT think Cat looks like she has the eyes of an alien in the picture that I did NOT take during her dancing.

Catherine did NOT announce to me last night that I was letting her suffer. When I inquired as to how I was contributing to said suffering, she did NOT tell me she was thirsty and I needed to bring her a glass of water. My 6 yr old daughter is NOT a spoiled rotten diva.

The same 6 yr old did NOT keep crawling under the table at the restaurant during breakfast on Sunday. When asked why she was doing this, she did NOT reply, “Katie (Cat’s invisible is hiding from the cops.” She did NOT then point to the two police officers enjoying their breakfast a few tables away. We did NOT think our daughter was weird or wonder what kind of invisible friends she was hanging out with lately. Upon further questioning, it did NOT appear that the show “iCarly” had anything to do with this particular behavior. I am NOT having a meeting with the invisible friends today to tell them to knock it off.

I am NOT thinking Barbie needs a week (or ten) at the Canyon Ranch Spa in Tuscon. I will NOT be joining her because I do NOT look like this lately either. Barbie did NOT gain all of this weight by blogging…DON”T let the computer in her lap and the Chinese takeout next to her fool you…

I am NOT grateful for all of my AWESOME bloggy friends who have stuck with me during my two months of hell on earth. I will NOT be a blogstalking fool this week. I will NOT be annoying everyone with my comments on their blogs. I did NOT discover that I am now following almost 300 blogs. I am NOT in awe of Kristina P and her amazing blogstalking abilities! She is so NOT my bloggy hero.

I do NOT want you all to have a delightful week ahead of you. NO I do NOT!



Not Me Monday! She’s Baaa-ccckkk…..

Join in the Not Me! Monday fun brought to the land of Blog from MckMama over at My Charming Kids!

I am NOT deliriously happy that I no longer have to drive Chilly to work every morning. I was NOT thrilled that his doctor fitted him with a “robocop” device so that he could use his broken appendage and drive. I was NOT ready to yank all of my hair out from the added stress of it all.

I did NOT feel a wee lump in my throat and tiny tears did NOT form when I saw I lost a follower this morning. My chin is NOT trembling a little. I am NOT sad that sometimes it seems blogging is a fickle world…sniffle sniffle plop plop…(those are NOT sad tears falling all over my blog….)

While waiting for what seemed like hours to be seated at my Mother’s Day brunch (when we could clearly see at least 10 empty tables ready for customers), I did NOT say to my family, ” I would rather the kids serve me a breakfast in bed of bad fish slathered with peanut butter and mayo on wilted lettuce next year than go through this torture.” I would never set myself up for such a rotten mother’s day next year….Tween Caveboy and Chilly did NOT start plotting their evil plans for next year upon watching me throw this mini tantrum. Catherine did NOT tell me to be patient in her “mom” voice.

My transmission (on my SUV with less than 50,000 miles) did NOT go clunk-clunk on the way to my Mother’s Day brunch in Tucson. My warning light did NOT come on immediately after telling me to get to the nearest service station. I did NOT freak out because I did NOT forget my cell phone. I did NOT want to give Chilly a great big hug for handling all of this for me upon meeting him at the restaurant in Tucson. I was NOT happy that we drove separately to the restaurant. I was NOT really sad, however, that I couldn’t jet over to Borders to spend my super fantastic gift card my kids gave me for Mother’s Day.

But wait! I was NOT grateful that my dad let me borrow his truck so that I could go back to Borders…sans kids! (well, almost….I did NOT have a pint size Irish dancer girl stowaway join me…) I did NOT buy Mrs. Meyers Cleaning Book. It is NOT fabulous and it is NOT filled with lots of non-toxic ways to keep my house all sparkly and fresh. I do NOT recommend you purchase this book.

I did NOT feel horribly sorry for my Mother on Saturday (now NOT aka Weeble) for tripping on an uneven sidewalk in NY and breaking one elbow, wrecking the other and breaking a toe too. My sister and I did NOT spend an hour on the phone making fun of her and calling her names. We would NEVER do that to our Mom. (Ooooo…this is for you….PTA….LOLOLOLOLO!!!!)

I did NOT get lots of giggles when I saw that Bobby G over at The G-Spot had given me this f***ing fabulous award! I did NOT blush when I saw the “f” word….(Dad, I promise I am NOT trying to stop using that word…alot…seriously…) I am NOT loving Bobby G’s blog because he is NOT hilarious. Do NOT go read his blog because you will NOT get hooked on his f***ing fabulous humor! I am NOT thanking him for this very cool award!

I am NOT delighted to be spending the next week blogstalking like I did back in the early days (before my family started injuring themselves and my electronics committed suicide….)



Not Me Monday! The Rebel Edition

Join in the Not Me! Monday fun brought to the land of Blog from MckMama over at My Charming Kids!

And we’re off!

*I did NOT squeal with delight and do a happy dance when my nephew (who is by the way, the world’s best nephew) called to tell me he was accepted for the Canandaigua Braves Traveling All Star Baseball Team! I did NOT get all warm fuzzy! Way to go, Alec! (I did NOT get seriously peeved at his mother (my sister) for not having her camera to photograph his homerun that won the game on Saturday either….uh yeah…I’m talking to you, Aunt Oooo…what are ya gonna do about it? Spit on me from NY? Take your camera next time!)

(Hear the crickets chirping??? This is the spot where I would NOT have a photo of Alec hitting that awesome home run….just sayin, Oooo…Oh…and Nana and Papa…Boo Hiss on you for not taking your camera to New York!!! Am I the only person in this family who takes a picture of anyone???)

*While running errands yesterday, I did NOT say to my kids “I’m totally addicted to McDonald’s Iced Coffee.” Six year old Catherine did NOT reply, “I’m totally addicted to boys.” (WHAT?!) She did NOT further reply, “One smiled at me at the bookstore…He’s so handsome!” I do NOT have a 16 year old girl hiding inside my 6 year old daughter….

*I do NOT want to see the movie “Wolverine” only because I heard Hugh Jackman say he’s nearly nude for half of the movie. I would NOT drool all over my popcorn and milk duds because of Hugh’s super buff hot body through the whole movie. (uh yeah, Chilly…you ARE taking me to see this movie, broken leg, my drool and all…)

*I did NOT unleash my wrath on a Sam’s Club supervisor when a MALE employee entered a filled to capacity LADIES room and began mopping while every stall had a lady or her child using said ladies room facilities. I did NOT completely FREAK OUT upon leaving the ladies room to see that there was no sign posted to warn incoming ladies that mopping by creepy male had commenced. I did NOT want to jack-slap the idiot supervisor who asked me why I didn’t yell at the guy to leave. HELLO!!! HE SHOULDN’T BE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, IDIOT! Oh, and by the way…I DO NOT work at Sam’s Club…not my job to keep the creeps out of the bathroom!

*While at Sam’s Club, I did NOT hear choirs of Angels singing and see the lights from Heaven shining down upon this…

(Just a hint, Chilly…and NOT a subtle one…tell the Viking that you have to bestow this lovely gift upon me for Mother’s Day….tell him to add a little something, something in your check so you can purchase this little lovie for me…it’s only $700….Wait! Do I hear the paramedics coming? Did you just have another heart attack???)

I have NOT been busier than a one legged man in an a$$ kicking contest all week. (hold on…I’m still laughing over picturing Chilly trying to kick my a$$ with his one good leg….snorty snort snort…) I have NOT secretly wanted to play nasty tricks on Chilly with his crutches (like putting them just out of reach, decorating them with girly stuff, etc…I know, completely juvenile, but hilarious..) I am NOT going to be playing catch up all this week!

I will NOT be dealing with my brokea$$ness (thanks, Bobby G!) for the entire month of May because everyone in the family had to choose May as their birth month. I will NOT be furthering my brokea$$ness due to Irish dance competition fees and necessities for the little Irish Dancer Girl because she’s in her first official competition this month. I am NOT considering a career as a stripper to make some quick cash.

I do NOT wish you all a very Happy Monday and do NOT hope you have a fabulous week ahead of you!


p.s. Go get your funny with Bobby G at The G Spot for more fabulous words from his Bobby G Deep Dictionary!

Not Me Monday: Geeks, Fancy McDonalds and Fergie

Join in the Not Me! Monday fun brought to the land of Blog from MckMama over at My Charming Kids! Don’t forget to send your prayers and well wishes over to her sweet baby boy, Stellan!

Here are the many things I did “NOT” do this weekend….

I did NOT want to give Tommy at the Geek Squad a million bucks for once again rescuing me from my stupidity where my computer skills are concerned on Sunday. He was NOT absolutely wonderful (yet again) and I am NOT eternally grateful for all of his help! (wink..wink!)

I did NOT go to the fancy McDonalds and take these photos for you to see. The crew did NOT freak out when they saw me snapping shots of their restaurant. The manager did NOT shine the “stainless steel” arches (that’s right…no golden arches here!) for my photo. We did NOT giggle because they thought we were from corporate, and they did NOT think we were inspecting the cleanliness of their dining area.

Wi-fi Lounge / Application Station

McCafe Coffee Bar (couldn’t get a better shot…will try to next time…)

Stainless Arches
sports bar with 47″ flat screen tv

Pottery Barn Style Dining Area

I do NOT love McDonalds Iced Coffee more than Starbucks now. I do NOT drink said coffee from the stainless steel arches at least 3-4x per week. I would NEVER betray Starbucks and it’s white chocolate frappucinno. That would be mean. (I do NOT suck McD’s Iced Coffee down like a thirsty traveler who hasn’t had liquid refreshment in 20 years either. That would be bad for me.)

I did NOT slice the hecky darn out of the tip my ring finger. I did NOT stand there bleeding all over the place while sweeping up glass because I am NOT an amazing multi-tasker even when injured. I do NOT want to punch someone everytime I use my ring finger when typing now.

I did NOT feel sad (actually I was really, really sad…) about the loss of blueviolet, Jay @Halftime Lessons and Vodka Mom this past week. I do NOT hope they return to their witty ways of the blog soon. (sniffle sniffle plop plop…tears falling…cause you know I really miss them…)

I do NOT love Fergie. I do NOT think she’s Fergilicious…I do NOT enjoy singing her songs (especially this one…”I’m the F to the E R G the I the E and can’t no other lady put it down like me…I’m Fergilicious…”) while out in public to further humilate my children. I do NOT try to pull my Fergie moves while singing it either…in public…in front of people…while my children cover their faces so no one will know they are with me….

(go ahead and enjoy the photo, Chilly…you know you want to….)

I am NOT overwhelmed by the incredible support of all my bloggy friends! You are all NOT (to quote one of my favorite bloggers, Nerdy Jess) the AWESOMESAUCE!

And finally, I am NOT feeling badly for Chilly who took a nasty spill in a parking lot yesterday. It does NOT appear that he probably has a broken leg (or at the very least a fractured knee) and I will NOT have to drive his derriere the 40 miles to his place of employment for the next couple of months. I will NOT be spending my entire Monday sitting in a hospital (again) waiting for him to be checked out. I would never feel so sad for someone who’s had some bad April mojo like I have NOT had.

I DO hope you all have a Happy Monday!

p.s. To my family members who are reading this…Chilly will be ok…I realize you’re all freaking out, but seriously, we are so done with all of this negativity! I ate the chocolate voodoo guy yesterday;) (lol!)

Not Me Monday! I Am NOT Adding More Prizes to My Monster Giveaway..or am I???

NOT ME Monday is brought to you by the fabulous MckMama over at My Charming Kids. Please send your well wishes for her wee Stellan. He needs our love and prayers. Thanks!

I did NOT curl up and rock back and forth sucking my thumb in a dark corner for hours last week because of the stupid surge that sent my laptop to the Geek Squad hospital during my MONSTER giveaway. I would NOT act like such a baby. Also, I did NOT cry so hard on Tuesday (and Wednesday) that my right eye was actually swollen shut for a while. I would NOT be so emotional over a computer. My son did NOT tell me I was EMO because I did NOT wear black all week and act depressed.

I did NOT stand in the middle of my yard shaking my fist to the heavens and yell (in my Scarlett O’Hara voice) “As God as my witness, I will never be laptop free again!”

I also did NOT roll around in agony in my yard screaming..”WHY? WHY? WHY is this crap happening to me!!!!???? Why this week????””

I did NOT feel HORRIBLE because I was unable to comment, say hi to my new bloggy friends and visit blogs due to my lack of computer access all week. My family did NOT tell me to seek therapy for this. I did NOT tell them to shove their therapy talk where the sun doesn’t shine.

I did NOT gasp out loud when passing by this magazine at Borders. I am a grown woman and that would NOT be appropriate. Also, I did NOT whistle when I looked inside this magazine that I did NOT pick up and flip through. People did NOT stare at me and shake their heads in pity.

I did NOT receive a terse note from the Easter Bunny reminding me that as of 6:30 pm on Saturday evening I still had no egg dye or candy for the kids. He did NOT sign the note “Smooth Move, Exlax.” The Easter Bunny is NOT that rude.

Chilly did NOT ask me what I got him for Easter. After pausing for several seconds, I did NOT say, “uh…that would be a big nada.” He did NOT then reply…”Wait you just did…You just gave me 3 minutes of silence.” Chilly is NOT that big of a NeRdAnDeRtHaL!

Catherine did NOT freak out over how the Easter Bunny was going to enter our home. She did NOT go into a begging spasm at Hallmark when she found this. I did NOT buy this because I do NOT give in to tantrums. (you can totally tell I’m lying, can’t you….you know this freakin’ key is hanging on my door…don’t you…)

I did NOT have a FABULOUS time making Easter dinner with Cat (age 6) for the first time. We did NOT make this feast while dancing around the kitchen in rabbit ears and singing songs from “iCarly.” I would NEVER behave like such a whack job in front of my child.

I am NOT happily adding FIVE more prizes to the giveaway because I am NOT grateful for all of your kind understanding and support during my laptop’s illness. I would NOT be so desperate for you all to like me. NO, NOT ME….

And I am NOT adding a few more days for the giveaway to give you plenty of time to enter! I would NOT be so helpful.

I will NOT accept entries until Friday, April 17. (ok…so maybe I will…) I will NOT announce the winners on Monday, April 20. (ok…so maybe I’ll do that too… Be sure to check back on Monday!)

(I will be announcing the additional prizes in a post later today! I still have a few things I may want to add…(yep…it may even be more than 5!) I’m still kicking a few nifty prize ideas around. If you check back for that post and leave a comment, it will count as another entry! I know…I am a crazy woman!
Hugs and smoochies to you all!!!!

p.s. I tried to do some stalking from Chilly’s office over the weekend, but only had a short time to do so….Miss Kitty became ill and we needed to scoot back home to get her all better for the Easter Bunny’s visit! I PROMISE you I will be back to commenting as soon as my laptop is repaired! I PROMISE! Hope you don’t give up on me! I love to comment…I do! This whole thing has been a nightmare for me! lol!

Not Me Monday…And Prayers for Stellan

Hi everyone:)

It’s Monday and before jumping into my Not Me post, I want to start by asking you to please send loads of prayers over to MckMama. Her sweet little baby Stellan is in the hospital and they would truly appreciate your prayers and support.

~Thank you~

Here is a list of some of the things that I did NOT do last week….

I did NOT find myself weirded out by Edward Cullen’s freakishly red lips while watching the Twilight dvd. (I also did NOT drool over his hot-ness either…No, Chilly, I did NOT.)

I did NOT cry my eyes out while watching the movie “Amazing Grace” to the point that my eyes were actually swollen. I would never cry that much over a movie. (I did NOT tell everyone I know to rent that movie or I would hunt them down. I would NOT threaten my loved ones that way.)

I did NOT want to shave my daughter’s head bald after spending 45 minutes trying to untangle ONE STINKIN’ KNOT.

I did NOT want to shave my own head after seeing the enormous amount of gray hair that has mysteriously appeared over the last few days.

I did NOT scream in horror when I realized I had been walking around all week with a uni-brow because in my exhaustion I failed to tweeze.

I did NOT fall into a pit of despair over not having the time last week to spread my comment love around the land of Blog. I am NOT that addicted to blogging.

I am NOT ready to kick blogger’s booty because it’s not updating posts in a timely manner. I did NOT miss several new posts from bloggy friends because of this glitch that does NOT exist. (stupid blogger)

I am NOT super excited about the giveway I am having for my 100th post coming soon! It is NOT huge and fabulous!

So…what did you NOT do last week???