There’s a new sheriff in town, folks. His name is Johnny Law AKA Johnny Blog-Law. He tried to shake me down a couple of times yesterday thinking I was mainlining via internet connection. He was wrong. I wasn’t doing the hard stuff. I was tokin’ on some Word…as in document…Word document.
Incident #1 occured at 9:00 am…Johnny Blog-Law (you know him as Tween Caveboy) leaps in front of me and ‘my Precious’ (the laptop). “BUSTED!” he yells, hands drawn in the gun position. “Step away from the computer, Mom.”
Not fazed, I calmly state that I want my attorney present before I agree to anything. “No can do, lady,” he laughs maniacally.
“What exactly am I being charged with, Officer?” I challenge him with my evil stink-eye.
“Blogging during school hours.” he stares at me disapprovingly.
“You got any evidence, Officer?” I ask raising my one eyebrow at him. (This freaks my kids out that I can do the one eyebrow raise…)
“Duh…you’re on the computer and it’s 9:00 am.” he smirks with confidence.
“Oh really….why don’t you take a look at what I’m doing here, Johnny Blog-Law.” I shove the computer at him.
His smirky smile quickly fades and off he runs to the classroom. (Yes, we have a classroom…we are homeschoolers.) “And by the way, Johnny Blog-Law, that “evidence” you just saw on the computer? I am adding another 5 questions for ya! That’s right, buddy! Who’s busted now?!” I cackle loudly behind him.
Yeah….he “busted” me typing his World Geography test. I fought the law and I won. That’s right…you don’t mess with this homeschool mom.
Incident #2….Johnny Blog-Law makes a second appearance at 3:00 pm. “Gotcha!” he yells (again) and this time nearly gave me a flippin heart attack. I am sad to say that he did bust me that time. I was only blogging for a few minutes, but I was supposed to be listing on ebay…long story….“HA!” he is laughing himself silly this time.
You see, friends, I live in southern AZ, and my lovely little neighborhood does not have high speed internet access. I know…I can hear all of you gasping and trying to absorb the shock of my words. When we bought the house four years ago, we assumed it would have high speed access because, well, doesn’t everybody? Umm…that would be a big NO. It didn’t even occur to me to ask!
As a result, I have to use a wireless aircard. Not cheap and not unlimited. You get 5GB per month. That’s like 2 hours in blog time…(well, not really, but it sure doesn’t feel like a lot!)
Last month, I went over my time…NOT MY FAULT…Verizon’s usage meter was off on my aircard…I can PROVE it! However, I was charged .25 per minute for a whopping extra $200 hit on my bill! (a bill which I am disputing, by the way!)
As a result, my blogging time has been drastically reduced. You may have noticed my comment lovin’ was lacking last week. Sniffle sniffle…I was terribly sad about that. I have to spread my computer time between school work for my kids, blogging, and ebay (because I may have to pay that dumb bill!)
The irony is that Cox Communications has high speed wiring at the end of my driveway, but will not bring it up the one acre driveway to the house. We have even offered to pay the expense to do this, but they refuse. So close and yet so far…sigh….
So, as a result, Blog Law is being enforced around these parts with a bloggy curfew of sorts. (I’m taking the weekends off blogger…) I’m still going to post and comment as much as possible during the week! I am just hoping that Cox will come around and bring those fiber optic cables up my driveway soon!
I actually found a photo of the real Johnny Law…
That’s right…Jude Law and Johnny Depp have morphed into a blog cop…I am strangely repulsed and attracted all at the same time..
Happily accepting your pity today,