Are You There, Oprah? It’s Me, Dawn….

Ok…let’s review the list of reasons I need a fabulous makeover and spa getaway…all courtesy of Oprah, of course…

Exhibit A….I recently doused my freshly styled hair with lavender/vanilla scented febreeze…in my defense, I thought it was my hairspray…it didn’t even register that my hairspray is actually a pump bottle…nope, I just grabbed it and went to town…It even took me a few minutes to realize that my hair was wet and smelling like a lavender field in France before the horror of my actions set in…

Exhibit B…I was excitedly telling Irish Dancer Girl (age 7) that I’d found the perfect costume for Halloween…Sue Sylvester from Glee!  Boom!  Easy!  Just slap on a track suit, grab a megaphone, throw on a short blonde wig, and allow my snarky sarcasm to flow freely from my lips…it’s beautiful…right?  Nope…Irish Dancer Girl just looked at me and said, “uh, isn’t she taller than you…a lot taller than you?…and…(long pause…while she looks at my tummy…) “you know…”(looks at my tummy again…) GRRRR….

Exhibit C…While toasting a bagel for my son, I remembered I had to toss in a load of laundry…zipped over to the washing machine and turned it on…back to the bagel…that I apparently “toasted” in the refrigerator on my way to the washing machine…oh…did I mention that after the wash cycle had completed, my clothing was gone? I had no idea that my clothes could become invisible!  I just hope they don’t disappear while I’m wearing them…that would be blight on the city of Tucson…chaos would erupt all over the southwest…{{shudder}}

Clearly, this shows that a spa vacation and makeover is needed, right? If I looked better and was revitalized from the spa, I would never behave in such a manner…So come on, Oprah!  Help a whack job out…pleeeease????

Have a fabulous day!


21 thoughts on “Are You There, Oprah? It’s Me, Dawn….

  1. If it makes you feel better, I once grabbed what I thought was my lip gloss and started putting it on without looking at the tube first. Wondering why it was scratchy, I looked down and discovered I was using mascara! Yep, black lips. And this took place while I was in the car at a stop light. Isn't it nice of us to entertain the public at large?


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