Can I Elf You?

(Don’t forget to visit Shannon and her Week-end Wordles over at Last Shreds of Sanity!)

Once upon a time this morning, I wandered into the family room in my usual morning stupor. I threw back the curtains to find I had a visitor outside in the form of an elf.


Well, hello there, hottie! He was leaning against the tree holding a scroll. I went to open the door to invite him in.

“What are you doing here?” I purred in my sexy morning voice. (What? Don’t you have one of those?)

He winked at me (swoon) and nodded toward the St. Patty’s Day tree. “What do you think I’m doing here?”


I blushed. “Um…yeah…Is there a problem with the tree, Legolas?” I was feeling all tingly now. He came really close to me. Really close. “For you, my lady.” He handed me the scroll. “I come bearing glad tidings.” He brushed by me and bowed.

Be still my fluttery heart! I looked at the scroll closely. Oh jinkies…I had gotten one of these in mid January. I knew exactly who it was from.

I sighed, unrolled it and began to read.

Dearest Dawn,

While your white Christmas tree looks lovely covered in shamrocks, leprechauns, pots of gold, and the flags of Ireland, don’t you feel that this charade has gone on long enough? (Props to you for taking down the other 4 trees that you had up. At least you had enough sense to take those down in January.)

And even though Catherine was delighted to have it covered with hearts for Valentine’s Day, shouldn’t you just come to terms that you are just too stinkin’ lazy to take down the tree?

I know you’re planning on doing a shabby spring Easter theme on that tree in a few days. I KNOW. It’s time to take down the tree, dear. Put it in that nice tree bag you picked up at Target at 90% off. (Yes, the magic snowglobe shows us everything…)

Now, get along with the tree removal. It won’t be long until July when all the stores will be filled with Christmas décor and you can start all over again!

Cheers!
Mrs. Claus

p.s. Hope you enjoyed the special delivery elf! If you ask him to, he can just snap his fingers and become a naughty pirate for you too!


Mrs. Claus sure knows how to get a girl’s attention.

Well, that’s just fantastic. Another spanking by scroll from the holiday hostess with the most-est.

Doesn’t she understand I am busy blogging? Doesn’t she know that I am horribly behind in my comment lovin’? Can’t she see that I am exhausted this week and can’t come up with a blog post that makes sense? DOESN’T SHE CARE? Mrs. Claus!

I glance at Legolas. He is staring at me with intensity. I feel flush. I plop down on the sofa. Heck, I was just trying to get my money’s worth out of that tree.

“Can’t you conjure up some more of your elf friends to come and help me, Legolas?” I plead batting my lashes at him.

“Alas, I cannot. I can become a pirate for you though, and be your eye candy while you take down the tree.”

Bow-chicka-bow-wow…buh-bye White Christmas St. Patty’s Day Tree…Hello, Eye Candy!

Have a fabulous weekend! I’ve got some eye candy to ogle, me hearties!

p.s. Don’t get your panties in a wad, Chilly. I know how you are about certain female actresses!

37 thoughts on “Can I Elf You?

  1. I’m afraid Orlando Bloom doesn’t have the same affect on me, but I can totally relate to the late Christmas decorations coming down. I just recently got the outside Christmas lights down.

    Like

  2. I really must apologize. I did not read anything past the naughty pirate. What a fantastic way to end my evening of blog readings. Thanks for helping me release my inner cougar!

    Like

  3. My LORD! Girl where do you come up with this stuff?? LOL Too funny! And i only like orlando Bloom as Legolas. Sorry, but there is just something about him sliding down the side of that fortress on a shield that makes me all tingly…Of course if it was my Rick doing that I would be positively mesmerized! LOLNice Wordle, my friend. I am so glad you are still participating. :=)

    Like

  4. LOL!! You actually have a pass for Easter as well – just start following the German tradition of Easter Egg Trees.It’s legit, I promise.Just think, if you leave it up, maybe you’ll get another visit.Me likey! Thanks for the pick-me-up. Em

    Like

  5. I’ll take a visit from Legolas! I was so taken by him in the theaters it made it worth it to sit through all the violence. My husband was actually supportive and bought me a cardboard stand up thing of him for my birthday. Weird eh?

    Like

  6. next year, i’m leaving my tree up until the hot elf/pirate delivers a scroll to my house. if only i had known…..i always take my tree down on January 1st.

    Like

  7. I had forgotten all about Orlando being Legolas. If he’ll get me to do things I’ve been putting off too, send him over here for a bit, would ya? Actually, tell him to send over his buddy, Captain Jack. 🙂

    Like

  8. I’m coming over from Blog Stalkers Unite, asking for your help. I am in the running for a round trip airfare paid ticket to Connecticut, to meet a friend I became acquainted with through blogging. She is a super fun person and is holding this contest. I entered a funny story titled “Grapejuice Floaties, Now Marry Me.” The person whose story receives the most votes will win a trip to meet this generous lady, whom I’m hoping to meet. The voting ends tonight I believe. I am ahead for now but there is a story coming up from behind out of nowhere and I would so, so, appreciate your help. Her blog is http://www.becausemomsaidso.com and the voting is on the sidebar on the right. “Grapejuice, Floaties” Just go there and cast a vote for me, please. Thanks so much-you’re awesome! ♥

    Like

  9. Girl, I swear…you crack me up every time I visit! We also keep our white ‘Christmas’ tree up until end of February, tee hee…the girls tried to get me to keep it up year round but I just couldn’t take it anymore! Lovin’ that eye candy too…maybe Chilly could dress up as a pirate for you too, hehe.StampinMom 🙂

    Like

  10. MAYBE IF YOU LEAVE THE TREE UP, YOU’LL GET ANOTHER ELFIN VISIT?! HECK, MAYBE THEY’LL MOVE IN AND START MAKING COOKIES IN THE TRUNK! I LOVE THE GRASSHOPPERS! MINT AND CHOCOLATE–JUST LIKE THIN MINTS…YUM! WAIT, WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT? I GOT A BIT OFF TRACK, YOU KNOW, COOKIES AND ALL!

    Like

  11. Hi friend.. Interesting post.. Nice blog work.. keep it up.. will drop by your site often.. Do find time to visit my blog and post your comments.. Have a great day.. Cheers!!!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s